Five Minute Management Course

Lesson 1:
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.
The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.
When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour.
Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'
'It was Bob the next door neighbour,' she replies.
'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'

Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

Lesson 2:
A priest offered a Nun a lift.
She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.
The priest nearly had an accident.
After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'
Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'

Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

Lesson 3:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.
They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.' 'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.' Puff! She's gone.
'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.'
Puff! He's gone.
'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'

Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.


Lesson 4
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.
A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?' The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson 5
A turkey was chatting with a bull.
'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.' 'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.'
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story: Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..

Lesson 6
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.
While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.
The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!


THUS ENDS THE FIVE MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE

What do you think?

Sometimes people tend to think what's the person is thinking about. It makes them wonder what's running through their mind so that they can help or share or make the person to express out what they actually felt. Nobody knows what's everybody is thinking about but sometimes.. coincidence the person might actually guess it right what is the person thinking about. And if you are lucky, they will express it out but if you are not then they will just smiled back at you and hoping you will never ask again. For me, I sometimes do wonder what is he or she thinking about and I will think twice before asking him or her. This is to prevent from making them think more about the problem if there's a problem. Because they tend to keep things to themselves and never tell anybody untill they are unable to hold it any longer. But the worst scenario is that, they will show you "fuck you no free" and continue their gloominess by themselves and think about "when is the world going to die". This is not a good thing to do because human needs another human to live. Just like you need both hands to clap. I just don't get it why there's people love keeping things to themselves, don't you feel tired? Far worst, the problem that they are thinking is not their own problem but they are worrying for their friend! When you know the actual problem that made them gloomy you will actually " -_- " or say "wtf". Is like why do people care about what that particular person felt about another person. Is not like you can do anything about it right? If that person wants to feel like that on that person, let them be. It's out of anybody's control. Everybody care for each other but this isn't the way to care for others. When a person starts to harass a prey and the prey does not retaliate, the person will keep on harassing. So why do people made themselves a prey for others? They thought by keeping everything by themselves will help others. Think twice, they doesn't give a shit on what you did they will keep continue doing it 'cause they think it's right for them to do so and they will never stop doing it till somebody fucked them up. They thought what they have been doing will never be realised by others but they were so wrong to think so because a blind man would even notice their foolish actions and because of their actions, they have brought themselves to an edge where everybody realised their idiotic-ness. These people would never think with other perspectives. They only think one sided and made a conclusion based on that. This is why they brought themselves to where they are now. And the best part, they do not realised it and they thought everything were still fine.

Hypocrites means pretender. Example; did all the helping, smiling at you and act like a buddy to you but when you weren't around, ha! that's when the fun begins.

Seng Mun, is this long enough for you?